No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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