Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
