just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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