what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
