after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
