Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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