I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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