do herpes really smell.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
