Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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