got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
