Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
