her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
