Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
