i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
