So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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