Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
