new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
