How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
