You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
