So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
