there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
