your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
