Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
