at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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