Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
