dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize