i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
