um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
