Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
