me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
