She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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