just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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