My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
