TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
