I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
