Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
