Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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