So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Did you pee in the oven last night??
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
