dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
