Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
