You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
