Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think i have two assholes
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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