I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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