All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
