I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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