Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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