I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
