After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize