I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
