She went from zero to smokin in five shots
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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