we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I love you. Go after that dick
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
