I met the friendliest cop last night
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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