The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize