Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
