AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You are the jesus of drinking
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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