I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
