I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
